Find the Divorce Lawyer
That's Right For You
By Ron Michel
Divorce ranks as one of the most stressful experiences in life. A good divorce lawyer knows how to meet your need for legal counsel, as well as your need for emotional support. While some lawyers have greater experience than others, it's important to find one with legal expertise and a commitment to help you reach your goals. I regularly hear from people who have gone through divorce and have come out of the experience dissatisfied with their attorneys. Often, this frustration is not caused by a lack of legal knowledge but by a lack of compassion on the part of their attorneys. You really need to have both.
Your divorce lawyer will play a major role in your financial and subsequently, emotional well-being. So in addition to finding an attorney with legal expertise, you will want someone who will put you at ease. Remember, your lawyer works for you. That means he or she should shoulder as much of the stress of the divorce as possible, not add to it.
You deserve to work with a divorce lawyer that's right for you. Here are some key points to guide you:
1. Know What You Want
Although divorce is often an emotionally tumultuous time, the initial time you spend with your attorney will be more productive if you think through what you want out of the divorce before sitting down with your attorney. Consider the issues of child custody, alimony, debt and other financial obligations, etc. If you haven’t figured out what you want, a good lawyer should help you determine by explaining your options and offering advice. Some attorneys provide partial representation for itemized services; this could be an option to consider if your divorce is uncontested and you want to reduce expenses by doing some of the work yourself.
(By the way--this is Debbie here--one of the most helpful books out there is this one: Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In, by Roger Fisher and William Ury. You can save yourself hundreds of dollars in legal fees as well as learn negotiation skills that will help you save money the rest of your life. Once I read it, the whole legal process went unbelievably swifter and smoother. You can check it out on Amazon-- and help me at the same time-- by clicking on Amazon's Honor System box here.) I think you'll be glad you did!
2. Get Recommendations
Ask for referrals and recommendations from friends who have gone through divorce. Find out the names of the attorneys that represented people you know. More importantly, you will want to ask about the level of satisfaction or dissatisfaction with the legal services that were provided. If your friends shopped around before deciding on a divorce lawyer, you’ll want to ask about the ones they didn’t chose, and why. It’s always a good idea to shop around for legal services, so don’t feel compelled or pressured to go with the first lawyer you meet. Also, you might look for recommendations from local attorney referral agencies, your church, or Christian legal societies in your jurisdiction.
3. Ask about Legal Expertise
Find out about the attorney's expertise as a divorce lawyer. As you shop around, ask each attorney you interview how many cases she or he has won or lost, and how many of those cases were similar to your own. Know the name of your judge and the opposing counsel so you can find out what prior experience an attorney has had with them. A proven track record is a good sign. In addition, ask whether your attorney has ever been sued for malpractice and if so, what the results were.
4. Consider Mediation
Mediation is becoming increasingly valued as an alternative to litigation. Many people who have gone through mediation feel the process is beneficial to both parties and preferable to litigation. Where children are involved, mediation can help diffuse some of the stress of witnessing parents divorce. As you interview potential divorce lawyers, remember to ask about any experience, training or certification in mediation.
5. Determine a Legal Strategy
Make sure that any prospective divorce lawyer can explain the strategy they will use to achieve your goals. Typically, a client decides on the goals and the attorney maps out the legal strategy it would take to get there. You have to work together. Your attorney should not take any course that you decide against.
6. Understand the Attorney Agreement
Have your attorney review their legal agreement with you and answer any questions you may have. This is the contract between you and your attorney, and will describe your payment obligations and the scope of the representation. If you have decided to retain an divorce lawyer for only partial representation or specific itemized services, the agreement should describe exactly what is expected of your lawyer.
7. Affirm Your Desire for Due Diligence
Finally, any lawyer who represents you should practice due diligence – that just means that your attorney should always do what is in your best interests and do it well. Whether it’s fighting for you tooth and nail or suggesting mediation instead of litigation, your attorney should always be on your side and keep you well informed of your case. If there are any changes in legal strategy, your lawyer should let you know.
Remember: A good attorney will offer guidance and information while respecting your autonomy and ability to make decisions that ultimately you and not your attorney, will have to live with.
For more resources and information to help women survive the divorce process and rebuild their lives, Click here.
For an alternative to self-help and high priced attorneys, check out: Legal Self Help Forms Center Services.
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