Men! What’s a Girl Gotta Do . . .?

Part 2: What Brought Me Back from the Brink?

So, where was I? Oh yeah . . .about to give up a lifetime of morals for the pleasure of passion with a really hot guy. To Read Part 1, click on this link.

Like He always does, God provided a way of escape—in the form of my 18-year-old son who happened to be up late studying biology, of all things, in the next room. (Who says God doesn’t have a sense of humor?) And if He hadn’t perched him on that narrow ledge between me and the brink, God only knows how this might have turned out.

The scary thing is, I had no idea how easy it was for me to get so dangerously close to that edge. Sure, I’d love to off on a tangent about what THIS GUY was doing, as a married, Christian man, pursuing me a single woman. But that would just avoid the important lesson I needed to learn: I was seducible. And honey, if I was, you’d better believe it: you are, too. Just see if any of these rings true for you.

I was more attracted to his persona than his character. He was a funny, charming, intelligent professional who drove a great car. And wow, he had some great moves—the kind a girl doesn’t want to forget. So great that they dominated my thinking when I should have been questioning whether he was living up to his commitments or noticing that he was making promises he didn’t keep.

I was more interested in romance than relationship. He was my ideal, my fantasy, my answer to an inner craving for attention. As much as I hate to admit it, I was just as guilty as he of wanting to chuck reality in favor of feeling flirty, experiencing intense passion, and escaping from the mundane, ordinariness of life. My life felt vaguely dissatisfying (and when doesn’t it?). Rather than assuming that the answer lay in some man, some adventure, some emotional “rush”, I needed to recognize that what I really longed for was the experience of true connection. One that appreciates my dignity.(More on that in Part 4.)

I had lost my in-loveness with God. Single-parenting two needy children, working two part-time jobs, and maintaining a house, a yard and a dog, left me completely depleted. I had boiled my relationship with God down to a joyless “to do” list and had lost touch with the Jesus who carries my burdens and keeps all his promises. Thankfully, he saw me headed down a path of destruction and wooed me back with his love.

When I finally got the chance to get away and gain perspective, His gentleness won my heart. “Lay in my arms and rest from your cares. It’s not your achievements, it’s not your performance, and it’s not your perfection I want. It’s you. Stop trying so hard; stop doing so much; stop thinking these are my voice and listen to My love for you. Be still and know that I am God.”

The bottom line is that nothing else is strong enough to bring us back from the brink. Good friends and good intentions play their part, but this quote from Pedro Arrupe, S.J. (1907-2001) is still the best advice around:

“Nothing is more practical than finding God, that is, than falling in love in a quite absolute, final way. What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything. It will decide what will get you out of bed in the morning, what you will do with your evenings, how you will spend your weekends, what you read, who you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.

Fall in love, stay in love and it will decide everything.”

And to be safe, learn the warning signs (Click on the NavBar to read Men! Part 3!).