Men! What's a Girl Gotta Do to Protect Herself?

Part 1 of 3

1. Men!The Story

2. What Kept Me from Going over the Edge

3. The Warning Signs

First, let me tell you the story: (Because, as I’ve recently discovered, it’s becoming a painfully familiar one to other women.)

A few weeks ago I fell for a married man. I didn’t mean to. And I certainly wouldn’t have opened that door, had I known he had a wife and family. Believe me; I have plenty of reasons from my past that made me swear I’d NEVER be “the other woman.” Besides, being divorced for nearly 4 years, I’m pretty good at guarding who I’ll trust. So how did I fall for this? In a word: easily!

I work part time at a coffee shop. I can’t say which one, but to give you an idea, they’re probably opening one next door to you right now. So I meet a lot of people. A lot of them are really nice people. Since my shop is located close to a hospital and a courthouse, we attract a fair amount of professionals, the kind who can afford to spend $4.50 a day on their lattes.

One of them was positively adorable. He complimented my “sparkly” eyes, remembered my name, noticed I had no wedding ring, asked about my kids and came back the next day, “Just to see your smile.” When he mentioned that he went to a solid church nearby, I let down my guard, thinking “What the heck? I haven’t been on a first date since 1978. This could really be fun. Besides, it’s time to get back in the game.”

I’m not an idiot. I don’t swoon easily, but I certainly felt flattered when I discovered he was nearly 10 years younger. And who wouldn’t be a little lightheaded by his blue eyes? Short story: he didn’t have to twist my arm to go out with him. Often bringing his laptop to work from my coffee shop, he quickly became my McDreamy. By our second time together he’d become McSteamy and between kisses I was losing my ability to think clearly. Things I previously had thought mattered, suddenly didn’t. And things I hadn’t felt in years woke up in me. I’d let that sleeping bear lie so long, I’d thought it was dead, but now it roused itself, ravished with hunger. My long winter hibernation was over. I wanted this guy.

Now you can also read:

Part 3: What were the warning signs?
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Reader Responses

Having worked with women for almost 10 years now, I see them become highly critical of themselves as they traverse the confusing, painful waters of difficult marriages and divorce. It is when women like yourself, show that we all can relate to these failures and hurts, that they will rise up and begin anew too.

May God bless your heart and vision to bring healing to hurting women. I will be praying for you!

Yours in Christ,
Karen Dishman Hinn
President
Treasured Woman Ministries
Central Florida
atreasuredwoman@aol.com

Feb 08, 2008. One woman wrote:

I am in the middle of a divorce and found myself wrapped-up with the person that my daughter and I had been staying with, while being in our safe house. My daugher and I felt the safety this man provided us. I must say it has taken me sometime to step back and listen to what God was telling me. Stop looking upon man and look to me for all your needs and care.