Finding a Career Begins By Finding Yourself
Certainly, if I had known I was going to be single at age 45, I would have planned on finding a career a little earlier. Like many divorced women, I was not prepared for the financial reality of supporting myself. Oh well, as my dad always says, “Hindsight is 20/20.”
The one thing I knew for sure was that I didn’t just want a job. I wanted a career that was tailored to my gifts and passions, something that grew out of who I was and what I wanted. The problem was that I’d gotten to midlife without ever figuring that out.
As women it’s easy to spend our lives focused on meeting everyone else’s needs but our own. Divorce can be a wake up call to discover who we are and what unique niche we were designed to fill. As I began thinking about that, I realized I knew more than I thought I did about myself.
I knew I wanted:
Financial stability. I didn’t want to be tempted into marrying for the sake of financial security. That issue had to come off the table for me to be able to evaluate any guy objectively.
Time with my kids. When their dad moved out, I dug in my heels and fought to stay home, working part time, for as long as I could. My kids lost their dad’s closeness, I didn’t want them to lose their mom’s, too.
Flexible hours and location. During my three and a half year divorce, I did not know where I’d end up living. Would we have to sell the house and move? Would I be able to work part time or need to get a full time job? When? I wanted something that could flex with whatever stage my life was in, no matter how unstable.
Something to call my own. Maybe I was reacting to investing 20 years of my life in other people’s success, or rebelling against corporate America, or realizing how short life is, but whatever the reason, I wanted to do my own thing, a job I could point to and say with satisfaction, “I did that.”
A long-term possibility. Whatever I picked, could I picture myself doing it at age 55? or 65? or even 75? Other careers appealed to me, but as I studied their demographics, I had to realize that no one my age or older was still in them. I sure didn’t want to be finding a career again at 55. I wanted work I could stay in and enjoy and get better at indefinitely.
Renewing Challenges. I’d had a successful career in my 20’s for seven years at a company I really loved. But when I left to have a baby, I was very glad for the change. I never want to stop growing or learning new things. At the very least, it keeps my mind young.
Now it’s your turn to focus on finding a career.
Are you paying attention to what you
really want?
That might seem too good to hope for, but I can assure you, it’s better than listening to the voices of worry and doubt. Laurence G. Bolt has a great table in his book, “How to Find the Work You’ll Love.” He lays it out this way:
If you listen to the voice of gloom and doom,your fear is financial security. You need to Trust yourself.
If you listen to the voice of conformity, you fear straying from the pack. You need to Free yourself.
If you listen to the voice of self-diminishment, you fear not being good enough.You need to Express yourself.
If you listen to the voice of idle compaint, you fear taking responsibility.You need to Challenge yourself.
“When you stop listening to the voices of doubt, it will be much easier to begin listening to yourself.” (p.27) And I might add, to God. The two, I’m convinced go hand in hand.
I don’t know what kind of job God might lead you to, but I know that He has a good plan, and it will be uniquely tailored to who you are. Living it will bring out your best and be a blessing to others. One of the best things you can do towards finding a career is pray St. Francis’ prayer, “Lord, show me who you are and show me who I am.” Then pay attention to what God reveals. I found the work I love. You can, too.
P.S. If your career desires were similar to the ones I listed. . .
it might be time to check out how to develop a web-based career. You can develop your own small business or market your ideas right from home. While it may not be everyone’s cup of tea, I can say with certainty, If I could learn how to use my computer to develop a thriving small business, anyone can!!!
Click on this link to find out more about finding a career with SBI.
Uncertain of whether you want to try it?
I know the feeling! Believe me, it took a lot of convincing to make me think I'd be finding a career on my computer. We rarely, got along! Most days I reached the point where I wanted to throw it out the window! I'm a mere point and click kind of gal. If that describes you, you can test the waters by following this link:
Free Trial Site Builder
P.P.S. If you want to find out "What Does God Really Want?" . . . .
I applaud your desire. One of the hardest things to figure out is how to know if what you want is the same as what God wants. Even after that becomes clearer, there's still the question, "So what is my part, and what is God's part in finding a career?" If you're serious about living the victorious life God wants you to have, you might want to check out my Bible study written exactly for divorced women. It's designed to take women with shattered dreams and lead them to new life.
Click here to go to Detoured by Divorce Bible Study page
When it comes to finding a career, there's nothing more rewarding than working from your God-given passion!
One thing that helped me focus on what that looked like was writing a personal mission statement. It brings me back to the center of what really matters to me, reminding me of who I am and what I care about. It is SO worth the effort of writing and to make it easier, I've included mine on this site. Feel free to use it like a template to write your own.
I don't know exactly how it works, but I can tell you, there's power in putting your purpose down on paper.
Click here to open a new window with my Mission-Statement
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