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Loneliness Busters
In the process, I made an amazing discovery: divorced women do not own the market on loneliness. In fact, every one of my married friends has felt it to some degree. Whether it’s an unfulfilled desire to be known, to matter, to feel connected or to be a blessing, loneliness strikes us all. We’ve all been tempted to believe “You’re too needy.” “You don’t have anything to offer.” “No one will miss you.” The good news is that we also share the same truth: we’re just people who need people. Married, single, widowed, divorced, young, or old, we need many different kinds of relationships to overcome loneliness. So take a chance. Try something new from this list. You may not make a best friend, but you will certainly increase your repertoire and someone else might be glad you did. Start or join a prayer group. Focus on whatever you have in common, whether that’s your kids, your church, or your nation. Check out your local library’s book club options. There’s nothing like finishing a good book and having someone else to talk to about it. Get a dog. Not only will you have a devoted four-footed friend, you’ll meet other dog-lovers on your walks. Take up a new sport. Join a bowling league or a biking club. Learn karate or how to ice skate. Indulge a secret desire that will build your confidence. Join a health club . . . and actually go. An instructor-led class is a great loneliness buster for when you really want to be with people but don’t have the emotional energy to converse. If the best you can do is just show up, then pat yourself on the back for doing better than most. Join your church choir (if you can sing), or a women’s bible study group. If your church doesn’t have them, ask if you can put an announcement in the bulletin to start one. There are lots of materials to choose from, but of course, I think Detoured By Divorceis one of the best! Go to Detoured-By-Divorce.html Take a class. It doesn’t have to be all academic. Look into what’s available locally. Currently my community is offering:
Learn to knit. The next time someone is wearing a beautiful scarf they made themselves, ask if they’d be willing to spend an evening teaching you how to make one. My first scarf was made on needles the size of kielbasas. We laughed so hard we cried. Attend a local sporting event. You don’t have to have a kid in a sport to attend. Some of the liveliest crowds around are at my town’s high school football and basketball games. Renew an old friendship. Track down your college roommate, a neighbor that moved away, or a once-cherished coworker. Get on the web to find them and when you do, give them a call. You might be the cure for their loneliness. Volunteer your service. You have to be careful to not get overextended, so look for the groups who gather to nurture others. Join them to make a quilt for a battered-women’s ministry, or knit baby blankets for a homeless shelter, or sort donated items at the local Salvation Army, or teach English as a second language. Whenever I’ve given my time to bless those who are less fortunate, I’ve always come away convinced that I was the one most blessed. Ask someone who’s well-connected to suggest a friend for you. I did this at my last job. Since the receptionist knew most of the people at that office, I asked her if she knew of someone I could be friends with. Although no one came to her mind, she and I struck up a new friendship, and have enjoyed lunch together. Renew your relationships with your siblings. One of the best benefits of divorce can be a new depth to relationships with family. Suddenly those little things that always bugged us don’t seem so important any more. Attend a seminar. Many Christian colleges, retreat centers, and para-church organizations have reasonable prices for women’s seminars. Contact the ones in your town to find out. Celebrate a TV show. If you know someone who also watches a show you love, invite them over to watch it together. Even though my sister lives across the country from me, we’re guaranteed to talk regularly when American Idol is on. Have a garage sale. It’s even better when you ask a few neighbors to have theirs on the same weekend. You increase your traffic and can help each other make the signs, place the ads, and price your wares. If you want some great garage sale tips, check out this link to
Home Organize It.com.
Be sure to use some of your hard-earned cash to go out together afterwards and celebrate! The good news about loneliness is that you have the power to bust it. Not all of it, and not all the time. But enough to find contentment despite it's occasional visits to your door.
Sometimes as Christians, we think we should never feel lonely, and then we pile up guilt on top of our loneliness. Give yourself a break. Even Christ struggled with loneliness. You'll find an article on this, as well as more inspiration at: http://www.inspiration-for-singles.com/loneliness.html Open your world to new friends and make the most of being single.To return to home page from Loneliness Busters, click here.
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I've known loneliness. The first time I attended a singles’ event at a local church I cried all the way home. Maybe it was just an usually bad night, but the thought of my new single life being that dismal and lame propelled me to find other ways to make friends.
